This morning I got around to reading the talks by Elder Russell M. Nelson and his wife Wendy at the Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults at BYU in January 2017. I was particularly interested in sister Nelson’s remarks.(1) As a marriage and family therapist and professor for twenty-five years, she gave the young adults “four truths about love and marriage.” I commend the entire talk to you, but I am reproducing #4 here which contrasts the difference between worldly sex and spirit-enhanced marital intimacy. She builds her ideas on a statement from Elder Parley P. Pratt who said the Holy Ghost “increases, enlarges, expands, and purifies all the natural passions and affections, and adapts them by the gift of wisdom to their lawful use.”(2) She concentrates on the effects of the Spirit on our passion and affections, but I would also stress the last part of his statement, that the Spirit will adapt them by the gift of wisdom to their lawful use.” Obviously there are unlawful uses of the passions and affections and according to Elder Pratt it is one of the Spirit's roles to help us adapt them to a lawful use before God. All that sister Nelson says below is consistent with these wonderful insights from Elder Pratt. Enjoy!
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Truth #4: For true marital intimacy, the Holy Ghost needs to be involved. It is simply not possible to have the kind of intimate experiences outside of marriage that you can have within because the Spirit will not be present.
Elder Parley P. Pratt taught that the Holy Ghost has the ability to increase, enlarge, expand, and purify “all the natural passions and affections.” Just imagine: He can purify your feelings! Therefore, anything that invites the Spirit into your life, and into the life of your spouse and your marriage, will increase your ability to experience marital intimacy. It really is as simple, and as profound, as that!
On the other hand, anything that offends the Spirit will decrease your ability to be one with your spouse. Things such as anger, lust, unforgiveness, contention, immorality, and unrepented sin will reduce your attempt for marital intimacy to be something that is nothing more than a sexual experience.
So, to recap: While worldly sex is under the influence of the world and the adversary and involves carnal, sensual, and devilish passions, God-ordained marital intimacy is under the influence of the Spirit and involves Spirit-enhanced and purified passions. The truth is, the more pure you are, the more marvelous your marital intimacy will be.
With worldly sex, anything goes. With marital intimacy, exquisite care is taken to avoid anything and everything—from language to music to movies—that offends the Spirit, your spirit, or your spouse’s.
While worldly sex is lustful and kills love, marital intimacy generates more love.
Worldly sex degrades men and women and their bodies, while marital intimacy honors men and women and celebrates the body as one of the great prizes of mortal life.
With worldly sex, individuals can feel used, abused, and ultimately more lonely. With marital intimacy, spouses feel more united and loved, more nurtured and understood.
Worldly sex ravages and eventually ruins relationships. Marital intimacy strengthens marriages. It supports, heals, and hallows the lives of spouses and their marriage.
Worldly sex has been likened to the toot of a flute, while marital intimacy has been likened to the grandeur of an entire orchestra.
Worldly sex becomes a total obsession because it never fulfills its promises. God-ordained marital intimacy is glorious and will continue eternally for covenant-keeping husbands and wives.
In short, marital intimacy endorsed by the Spirit is blessed by the Lord and is sanctifying.Let's think together again, soon.
Notes:
1. Wendy Watson Nelson, “Love and Marriage,” address at the Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults, 8 January 2017, Brigham Young University. Available online at:
https://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/worldwide-devotionals/2017/01/love-and-marriage?lang=eng
2. The entire statement of Elder Pratt is highly recommended. It is found in Parley P. Pratt, Key To the Science of Theology, (4th ed.), pp. 96-97.
Interesting read. Would you say that the difference between the two can depend on the couple and what they are comfortable with? What could seem worldly with one couple might be seen as spirit enhanced by others. Example: I’m sure we’ve all heard stories of those who wear they temple garments during intimacy.
ReplyDeleteI would also venture to
say there will always be a degree of lust in a healthy marriage. I think love eventually grows stronger as a couple grows together and communicates well, but always some degree of lust.