Gospel Laws Pertaining to Marriage and Family

Introduction:

We are not born knowing the gospel laws pertaining to marriage and family. Depending upon the strength of our own family we may learn some of them more or less. In general, we as a church do not discuss this specific topic (laws of marriage and family) very often.(1) I believe as Latter-day Saints the subject should be of great interest to us. Where will you find the laws pertaining to marriage and family? There are two basic sources: 1) the holy scriptures, and 2) from the teachings of the modern Apostles, Prophets and other General Authorities and Officers of the Church. Learning the laws of marriage through scripture study takes considerable searching and skill to ferret them out.  Some are obvious, others are not.  The teachings of modern General Authorities are surfeited with instructions about marriage and family, but they too must be located, obtained, and studied. Consider the following: There have been over 360 General conferences (2 per year for over a 180 years). I don’t know what the average may be, but in my lifetime it seems as if there have been one or two, sometimes more, talks devoted to these subjects in each conference. As a result, our leaders have discussed our responsibilities in marriage as a spouse and parent so frequently, it is likely that they have discussed most of the major and important subjects, including divine laws relative to this topic.We just have to be interested enough to seek this information out and study it.

There is a third source.  Many of the more important, though not all, of the major laws pertaining to marriage and family have been condensed into a one-page document known as “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” which was first read to the church on 23 September 1995, at a meeting of the Relief Society sisters. Knowing the importance of these laws and having read the document a number of times, I am nevertheless, ashamed to admit that though it has been around for almost twenty years, it was not until last week that I finally sat down and outlined it with the purpose of learning what it had to say about my responsibility as a husband and father.  Below I have reproduced my findings for the readers of this blog.  

I wish I would have been wise enough to do this twenty years ago.  I know that with frequent reviews of its teachings, I would have kept my covenants better and would have been a better husband and father.  In that spirit, I encourage all to download this outline, revised it to your own liking, but most importantly use it as a guide to your conduct as a spouse and parent. It seems only logical to me now after thinking about this subject for the past six or seven years, that doing so is crucial to our doing a better job of keeping our covenants with God, our spouse, and our children.

Blogspot does not have, so far as I can tell, true outline capabilities, so please forgive the present format. You will notice that where a sequence of items is listed, separated by commas, I have isolated each one with the relevant comment which preceded or followed it. This is to highlight and give appropriate weight to each item, separate from its list. Also, as you will see some subjects are mentioned more than once, in different terms. I have grouped all the relevant statements under the general heading which seemed appropriate to me. I was struck that the largest section deals with the spiritual duties of spouses and parents.  All quotations are from the proclamation with emphasis added by me.

BASIC LAWS OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY

AS FOUND IN

THE FAMILY: A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD

Prepared by

Danel W. Bachman 

1. Fathers are to “preside over their families...”  
1. “... in love and righteousness...”
2. Equal partners
1. “In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”  
2. “We warn that individuals who ...abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God.”  
3. Maintain Family Integrity
1. “Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.” 
4. Procreation
1. “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife.  We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”  
5. Chastity
1. “We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.” 
1. No homosexuality or bestiality.
1. “...only between man and woman”
2. Only inside of marriage.
1. “...man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife”
2. “We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed.” 
3. “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.” 
4. “We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, ... will one day stand accountable before God.” 
6. Husband and wife to love each other and their children
1. “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.” 
2. “‘Children are an heritage of the Lord’ (Psalm 127:3).  Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness.... 
3. “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love....”  
4. “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of ... love...”
7. Husband and wife to care for each other and their children
1. “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.” 
2. “Husbands and wives–mothers and fathers–will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.” 
8. Children to be reared in righteousness
1. “‘Children are an heritage of the Lord’ (Psalm 127:3).  Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness.... 
2. “Parents are to provide for the ... spiritual needs of their children.”  
3. “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in ... righteousness....” 
4. “Husbands and wives–mothers and fathers–will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”  
5. “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.”  
1. “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith....”
2. “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of ... prayer...”
3. “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of ... repentance...
4. “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of ... forgiveness...”
5. “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of ... respect...”
6. “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of ... love...”
7. “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of ... compassion...”
8. “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of ... work...”
9. “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of ... wholesome recreational activities.”
9. Parents are to provide for the physical ... needs of their children
1. “Parents have a sacred duty ... to provide for their physical and spiritual needs....” 
2. “Husbands and wives–mothers and fathers–will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”  
3. “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families ... and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.”  
4. “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”  
10. Parents are to teach children to love and serve one another 
1. A. “Parents have a sacred duty ... to teach them to love and serve one another.” 
2. “Husbands and wives–mothers and fathers–will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”  
11. Parents are to teach children to observe the commandments of God
1. “Parents have a sacred duty ... to teach them to ... observe the commandments of God.” 
2. “Husbands and wives–mothers and fathers–will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”  
12. Parents to teach children to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live
1. “Parents have a sacred duty ... to teach them to ... be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.”  
2. “Husbands and wives–mothers and fathers–will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”   

Lets think together again,  soon.

Notes:

1.  One clear example of which I am aware is, Parley P. Pratt,  “Laws of Marriage and Procreation.”  In Key to the Science of Theology, 159-73.  Liverpool: F. D. Richards, 1855. This can be viewed in the Internet Archive at: 
https://archive.org/stream/keytosciencethe03pratgoog#page/n180/mode/2up